Phil’s somehow still flexing a 13–17 record while Cantu finally admits the Dallas Cowboys are a complete disgrace. Woodley’s doing a victory lap over a Minnesota sports miracle, and Mike the Mouth is trying to ignore his bad meds long enough to fire off his fourth guarantee of the season. The show opens with a full-blown Cowboys funeral, Phil’s sermon on why analytics guys are finally getting game balls, and a debate on whether Philip Rivers is a romantic hero or just a 44-year-old checking it down.
- Mike goes out on a limb with his **GUARANTEE:** Denver -3 vs. the red-hot Jags (altitude is the equalizer.)
- Cantu trusts the 12th Man and Sam Darnold to finally break the Seahawks' house of horrors against the Rams.
- Phil lays the wood with the 49ers -6 at Indy, targeting a Colts pass defense that's ranked 31st for a **reason.**
- Woodley hammers the Vikings -3 at the Giants, betting on JJ McCarthy to secure his job for next year.
- Phil finishes strong with Lions -7 vs. Steelers, predicting a dome-game blowout against a decimated Pittsburgh defense.
Round two gets personal as Cantu looks for a soul-cleansing win with Patriots +3 over the Ravens, while Mike and Woodley double down on the 'frauds' narrative for the rest of the league. We close it out with a look at the final Survivor entries and why the entry caps are about to get a major haircut next year.
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